How Toxic Is Your Divorce Dynamic?

Take This Quiz to Find Out!

Instructions: Answer each question by selecting the option that best describes your situation. Be honest—this quiz is designed to give you clarity on just how much conflict exists in your co-parenting relationship. At the end, you’ll get a breakdown of where you stand and what that means for you moving forward.

Let's Dive In!

1. How often do you and your ex argue or disagree?

A) Rarely – we communicate well and respect boundaries.

B) Occasionally – we have disagreements but can work through them.

C) Frequently – communication is tense and often leads to arguments.

D) Constantly – every interaction turns into a battle.

2. Does your ex respect parenting agreements and schedules?

A) Yes, we both follow the agreement with no issues.

B) Mostly, but there are occasional conflicts or misunderstandings.

C) No, they often ignore the agreement or manipulate the schedule.

D) Absolutely not – they use the schedule to control or punish me.

3. How does your ex communicate with you?

A) Respectfully, through direct conversation or email.

B) Sometimes respectfully, but it depends on the topic.

C) With hostility – they use insults, accusations, or blame.

D) They avoid direct communication but use others (like kids or legal threats) to send messages.

4. Have they ever involved your children in conflicts?

A) Never – they keep personal issues separate from parenting.

B) Occasionally, but they usually realize it's not appropriate.

C) Frequently – they talk negatively about me or use the kids as messengers.

D) Constantly – they manipulate, alienate, or use the children as leverage.

5. How do you feel after interacting with your ex?

A) Neutral – it’s just co-parenting business.

B) Frustrated sometimes, but I can move on quickly.

C) Drained or anxious – I dread every conversation.

D) Traumatized – interactions feel like emotional warfare.

6. Has your ex threatened legal action against you?

A) No, never.

B) Only once or twice, but it didn’t escalate.

C) Multiple times – they use court as a threat.

D) Constantly – they file motions or use the legal system to harass me.

7. Do you feel safe co-parenting with your ex?

A) Yes, I have no concerns about my well-being.

B) Mostly, but I have some emotional distress from past conflicts.

C) No, I feel controlled, manipulated, or afraid of retaliation.

D) Absolutely not – I worry about my safety or my children’s well-being.

8. How does your ex handle disagreements?

A) They listen, compromise, and work toward solutions.

B) They can be stubborn, but we usually find a resolution.

C) They escalate the conflict and refuse to compromise.

D) They use threats, intimidation, or punishment when they don’t get their way.

9. How often does your ex blame you for issues in co-parenting or life in general?

A) Rarely – we take responsibility for our own actions.

B) Occasionally – they sometimes place blame but will admit fault.

C) Frequently – they shift blame and refuse accountability.

D) Constantly – they portray themselves as a victim while vilifying me.

10. Does your ex respect your personal boundaries?

A) Yes, they respect my time, space, and privacy.

B) Mostly, but they overstep occasionally.

C) No, they frequently ignore boundaries or push limits.

D) Absolutely not – they harass, stalk, or invade my privacy.

11. Does your ex try to control or manipulate you?

A) No, we each have our own lives.

B) Occasionally, but it’s usually subtle.

C) Yes, they often try to guilt-trip or pressure me.

D) Constantly – they use fear, intimidation, or control tactics.

12. How does your ex behave in legal proceedings?

A) Fair and cooperative.

B) Somewhat fair, but tries to push their agenda.

C) Aggressive and tries to twist the truth.

D) Vindictive – they lie, manipulate, and use court to punish me.

13. Does your ex undermine your parenting?

A) No, they respect my parenting decisions.

B) Occasionally, but not intentionally.

C) Yes, they frequently go against what I say.

D) Absolutely – they sabotage my authority and make me look bad.

14. How often do you feel anxious or stressed due to your ex’s actions?

A) Rarely – I’ve moved on.

B) Occasionally, but I manage it.

C) Frequently – I’m on edge all the time.

D) Constantly – I feel like I’m living in survival mode.

15. Does your ex spread false or damaging information about you?

A) No, they don’t talk about me.

B) Occasionally, but nothing extreme.

C) Yes, they twist facts to make me look bad.

D) Constantly – they spread lies to damage my reputation.

16. How does your ex react when things don’t go their way?

A) They accept it and move on.

B) They might get upset but eventually deal with it.

C) They get angry and lash out.

D) They retaliate by making my life harder.

17. Do you feel like your ex is trying to “win” at co-parenting rather than working together?

A) No, we both want what’s best for the kids.

B) Occasionally, but it’s not extreme.

C) Yes, they treat it like a competition.

D) Absolutely – they use the kids as a weapon against me.

18. How does your ex interact with mutual friends or family?

A) They are civil and respectful.

B) They have some tension but remain polite.

C) They try to turn others against me.

D) They actively spread lies and seek to alienate me.

19. Do you feel like you need to document everything to protect yourself?

A) No, I trust that things will be handled fairly.

B) Occasionally, just in case.

C) Yes, I’ve learned that I need evidence.

D) Constantly – I keep records of everything for my safety.

20. Do you feel emotionally or mentally drained from dealing with your ex?

A) No, it’s a non-issue.

B) Occasionally, but I manage.

C) Frequently – they drain my energy and peace.

D) Constantly – I feel like I’m in a never-ending battle.

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